Infection: The Courier Story

Whatever you do, don't veer your vehicle in the direction of the Evil Clown anytime soon. This bronchial monstrosity has punched almost every employee square in the jaw. If you venture to open the door to our offices you'll be greeted with the percussion of half a dozen coughing minstrels.

I didn't move from my bed Sunday or Monday. Personally, I'm most fond of the little elves with molten lava-soled shoes tap dancing on the backs of my eyes. Quite a way to spend my last few days at the paper.

I'm going to go sleep this thing off another decade or so.